Spontaneous Reflections

I’ve been feeling pretty great this week, at least most of the time. I find myself having a lot of time for self-reflection here, on the busses, when I zone out because my brain just can’t take another minute of Spanish, or just because I’ve seen something that reminds me that I’m in another country. There are times here that something happens to me, and it makes me feel like all is well with the world. Thursday, as I was leaving my ICRP, one of the little boys who was trying to keep me from leaving pointed up at the sky and said (in Spanish of course) “Look! A rainbow!” As I walked away, I felt really happy to be liked by the kids, to have learned a new word, and that there are great things like rainbows and children in the world. There are some things that are the same everywhere, rain, sun, and rainbows being a few examples. Contrast that with the fact that earlier that day I had felt really nostalgic because of a song I heard on the radio that was in English, knowing that most of the other people around me couldn’t understand the song, let alone why it would make someone miss home enough to feel teary. It’s tough sometimes, but really it’s not much different than being home. There are days and moments where you just feel awful and stressed, and then there are times when you’re riding high on life and wouldn’t change a thing. Here, the stressors and highlights are different, and occasionally more extreme, but I think it all averages out to be about the same.

My feelings of happiness and sadness are triggered by various things. Often by something I see that reminds me I’m not in Michigan anymore. One of those things is the kids I see working every day. This isn’t helped at all by the class I took last year on children’s rights in which we talked about child labor in the world for about a month straight. There’s a little kid who gets on my bus nearly every day to sell newspaper, there’s the kid who took my bus payment today, there’s the many kids I see on the streets, and then there’s the kids I’m working with now. Their lives are so much different from mine. And even though they can enjoy things in the moment, they have known some hardships I will never have to face. That was something that really hit me the other day. Even if I were to be totally broke and jobless in the future, I have family and friends who can help me out and I have enough of an education to get some type of work. Heck, I have a resume that totally qualifies me to flip burgers or run a cash register. It may not be much, but I will always have a way to provide for myself at least minimally. These kids don’t have that. They literally have nothing. Not only that, there is nothing in their lives that is secure. Not a home, not meals, nothing. That’s really the best thing I think el proyecto does for the boys that live there. They have had really hard lives, however many years they have lived, and this organization gives them a safe place to sleep, meals, and people who care about them, no matter how much trouble they cause. The organization also helps out the families of the other kids who come there after school. Tuesday, one of the directors was handing out bags of bread to some of the kids, presumably the ones whose families can’t afford to buy it themselves. Which is saying something, since I could buy a bag of bread like that for about a dollar fifty at the bakery down the street. I’m sure I’ll have many more observations about the kids I’m working with for you later, so I’ll leave this topic be for now.

One of the things that is starting to get on my nerves here is the attitude of many men towards women. Not all of them, but quite a few. The other girls on my program and I have spent a considerable time talking about it, and in at least one of the conversations I have had it was determined that men here are practically predatory towards females. It’s not just one thing they do, but the combination of everything we encounter. Nearly every day we have to listen to the piropos of guys standing on the sidewalk, or passing by, or even hanging out of a bus. There are wolf-whistles, hisses, and calls of “Preciosa!” or “Hola chica!” or whatever else they feel like saying to you. And that’s all from strangers. Guys here also seem to think that talking to you for all of two minutes entitles them to your phone number and a date tomorrow. No thanks. Walking into my ICRP on Thursday, a man who was leaving struck up a minute long conversation with me and asked me for my phone number. After finding out that I had a boyfriend, but he wasn’t in Ecuador. Again, no thanks. It’s like they don’t know how to make friends with the opposite sex, they just want to date them.

There’s another side to all of that though, which is what I would call the “flirty culture” that seems to exist here. This is exemplified by the bus drivers who won’t actually stop the bus for you to get on unless you are female or look like you can’t jump onto a moving bus. Guys, don’t try to catch a bus by yourself unless you have a decent amount of balance. Girls, particularly gringa girls, can usually get into clubs much more cheaply (read: for free) than guys, and there’s frequently other financial benefits to being female because guys want to pay. But I would easily give up the benefits to have the predatory stuff disappear. It doesn’t make you feel liked, it just makes you feel like an object.

But all of this is cultural observation and the reason I am here is to make those observations and hope to understand the people here a little better. I think that by the time I leave I will also understand myself better as a result of seeing this culture and realizing where some of my thoughts and habits come from. We are influenced so much by the culture around us, and it’s really interesting to have that in front of your face 24/7. I’m enjoying it.

Take care and keep in touch! (i.e. leave comments!!) And if any boys out there want to give me advice on nicely discouraging interested parties, DO TELL!